Tough City

The cold wind through my hair, my face and body frozen, tears are running out of the corners of my eyes. Partly because of the winter, which has taken over New York, and partly because of fighting not to give up and to keep my head high. Roadblocks keep appearing in my way to success and it's so tough to stay strong when I've hardly no self esteem left...I'm tired and I'm becoming very impatient and It's hard to keep believing in myself. And sometimes I really just want to run away from it all and leave this all behind. Loneliness is overwhelming me, but I don't know why? My head has turned into a big cloud full of question marks, fears and doubts. In rough times, like this one surely is, I wished that I was 4 years old again and I could play all day long with my barbies and friends. No worries of making the next months rent and not wondering if I'm going to eat something else other than peanut butter jelly sandwiches.

I know, I know what you're thinking now! Get over yourself. This is your way of living and this is how the glitz and glamour life can be. You'll have ups and sometimes you'll have downs in your life. It's a part of another big adventure! You are in New York and it is full of challenges and there are so many opportunities in front of you and many different ways to make it!
So what, that you've been rejected by agencies! Please go cry in the corner! Like Aaliyah would say 'dust your shoulders off and try it again'. Or how Mariah Carey would phrase it " shake, shake, shake it off' or Britney's advise: 'why don't you do something?'
Hmm yes indeed, let's do something! Cause In the end, you know it and I know it... I'm just fucking FAB!

kisssss